


Facing Our Fears

by rosesforher



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, a scene with the unholy trinity, mentions of Sofia and Jervis, nygmobblepot with touches of scriddler, oh and just a smidge of hattercrow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 22:43:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesforher/pseuds/rosesforher
Summary: TW-There are clear mentions of domestic violence and some references to the attempt in 4x14 so if you will be affected by this, please do not read for your own wellbeing.[What was originally supposed to be a one-shot based around all of the theories that were circulating on Twitter about Edward being exposed to the fear gas, has now become a 3x17 fix-it fic (a rather late one oops).]Edward is held against his will by The Scarecrow as a way of allowing Jerome to convince Oswald to join his villainous 'Legion of Horribles'. However, when things don't go quite according to plan, secrets are revealed and tensions run high until Oswald finally learns the truth about Edward's past.





	Facing Our Fears

**Author's Note:**

  * For [feathersandriddles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feathersandriddles/gifts).



> Dedicated to @feathersandriddles who writes some of the best Gotham and nygmobblepot fics so please go them out (they also got me into scriddler in the first place)!
> 
> I haven't actually watched the entirety of 4x17 yet so sorry if some of the details don't exactly line up. Oh, and it should be noted that in this, Jerome has already met with The Legion Of Horribles prior to when this is taking place, and that the Lee/Ed kiss as well as the 'I love you' drama at The Riddle Factory doesn't happen.

Edward held his jaw tenderly as he approached the nearest medical cabinet only a few rooms away from where Oswald was sitting. It had barely been a week since The Dentist had drilled into his gums as per orders from the now coma-induced Sofia, and though the pain was slowly, but surely going away to Edward's relief, it was still a little difficult for him to enjoy a meal that wasn't just soft-serve ice-cream.

Meanwhile in the dining room, Oswald was waiting patiently for Edward's return, anxious but hopeful that the simple dinner he had prepared for them both would suffice as a good end to two very different busy days they'd already discussed. From his successful meeting arrangement with Butch, to Edward holding his very own game show in the Narrows that completely bewildered Oswald, everything was swiftly going according to plan for the two of them.

Oswald was still coming to terms with the fact that they had been able to take shelter temporarily in the Falcone Mansion for a week, without trying to kill each other like they would have done months earlier without hesitation. But as their separate lives were finally starting to change for the better, so was their relationship, and Oswald couldn't be more pleased with the fact.

Both Oswald and Edward had left the past in the past where it belongs, and as a result, have been attempting–with caution be it as it may–to find a way to move on from all of the sorrow they caused each other so long ago. Hence, the cooked dinner was what Oswald hoped Edward would consider to be a thoughtful sort of peace offering, which he did appreciate despite his aching mouth.

But unexpectedly, the seconds were turning into lingering minutes as Oswald couldn't help but worry when he hadn't heard Ed speak another sound since he left the table after dinner.

The flame shining brightly on the candelabra in front of Oswald began to flicker, as if a nearby draft was prompting it to go out completely. Though he initially dismisses it as being nothing more than a breeze, it occurs to him that the windows and doors in theory should all be locked; something was off.

"Ed? Is everything okay?!" Oswald calls out apprehensively but receives no response, provoking him to immediately reach for his gun near the front of the mansion...that is, until what he finds is a familiar smile that's been waiting for him all along.

"I would say I like what you've done with the place, but I have to admit, even Arkham had better locks." Standing only metres away with Oswald's gun in hand is none other than Jerome Valeska, a man he had hoped to never come face-to-face with again, but Oswald knew he couldn't possibly be that lucky in this city of all places.

"Where's Ed?! What have you done to him?!" Oswald's ability to remain calm was rapidly declining in mere seconds as he glanced back and forth around Jerome.

"Don't fret Oswald, your green pal is just having a harmless chat with one of my new friends," Jerome's tone is menacing and manipulative, but Oswald was too focused on Edward's whereabouts to let himself become intimated.

"Nygma isn't apart of this!" Oswald spits out aggressively before taking a deep breath and collecting himself for only a moment, knowing exactly what he had to do, "Let him go and if need be, just kill me instead."

Jerome lets out a booming chuckle, "Don't be silly Oswald,  
I'm not here to kill you," He grabs Oswald's shoulder and squeezes it lightly, "Please, take a seat, I have a proposal to offer you that I think you may find quite...tempting."

Upon request, Oswald steadily sits back in his chair as Jerome puts down the gun and grabs a seat next to him, taking the nearest cutlery on the table and dropping it all on the ground in a clattering mess.

"Just a precaution," Jerome comments with a smirk, but Oswald is barely amused, "What do you want Jerome?" Jerome's smile widens as he leans forward, eager to bargain with the man in front of him.

"I thought you'd remember...don't you recall a certain plan I was devising when we were in Arkham?" Jerome asks as Oswald takes a sip of his wine before responding, "You said you wanted to break out, and you've done that now, so why do you still need me?"

"I'm putting together a group of some very interesting folks that you may find familiar, and I need someone like you to lend me a hand with a personal matter...so whaddaya say, old friend?" Jerome playfully toys with Oswald as he anticipates his reply.

"I think I'm going to have to decline... _old friend_ ," Oswald counters threateningly, but his tone doesn't appear to have any effect on Jerome.

"See, I thought you might say that, so that's why your riddle-making buddy is being held against his will, ready to be given the absolute fright of his life whenever I say by good ol' Mr Crane, who I'm sure _you_ remember..." Jerome grins devilishly as he watches Oswald swiftly becoming more fearful than he had ever gotten the pleasure to see before.

The reality of this distressing situation was sinking in, and Oswald couldn't help but be plagued with flashbacks of when he was exposed to the horrible fear gas that left him with anxiety for days. He couldn't imagine what it would do to Edward, who he knew had already gone through so much pain in his life, more than he's ever really shared with Oswald that he's simply picked up on overtime.

It was clear to Oswald now that whatever he needed to do to ensure that Edward wouldn't have to experience the same amount of dread he did, he would do it, even if that meant sacrificing his own freedom to a dangerous lunatic like Jerome.

~

"I've come across some pretty bizarre characters in my life, but you sir, are most certainly the strangest," Edward, who was currently tied to an uncomfortable wooden chair with The Scarecrow crouched in front of him, was trying to stall the terrifying scenario that awaited him through insults, as per usual.

"This, coming from the man who calls himself The Riddler? You mustn't be serious." Jonathan initially thought that this would be just another job; just another day where he used his fear gas as an intimidation tactic for some sort of personal gain. Little did he know that The Riddler would be much more talkative and condescending than he had originally anticipated.

"At least I'm not the one who looks like a character ripped straight out of _The Wizard of Oz_ ," Edward retorts with a quiet snicker as Jonathan stands up, towering over him as a way of discouraging Edward's scornful attitude.

"I wonder if you'd still be laughing with one small spray of this," Jonathan says menacingly as he points the canister near Edward, slightly pressing the trigger and causing some of the gas to only just miss the side of Edward's face, making him flinch.

"I-If you really wanted to use that on me, you would've done it by now...which means that you need me for something, using me to get to–" Edward's train of thought suddenly comes to a halt as he realises one crucial detail he somehow forgot to process, "What have you done to Oswald?"

"He's unharmed as far as I know, but he's discussing some important business with Jerome Valeska, and you are the leverage in ensuring that everything between them goes down smoothly..." Jonathan explains as Edward nods, pondering silently to himself for a moment.

'I know what Jerome is capable of, I almost lost my life because of him a few years ago...so why would he need Oswald?' Edward wondered rhetorically as his eyes scanned the room for something he could use to get himself out of this mess.

"What sort of business?" Edward asks, genuinely curious though he was attempting to distract Jonathan at the same time.

"Jerome's collecting all of the criminals and freaks to take control of Gotham," Jonathan answers simply as he fiddles with the canister in his hands, suddenly giving Edward a terrible idea that he knew he would soon regret.

"So I'm guessing that means you're just the second choice when compared to Oswald, right?" Edward scoffs as he squirms in his seat, wincing as the ropes rub coarsely around his wrists.

Jonathan taunts back, appearing not at all phased by the comment, "Don't forget Mr Nygma, you're the one that's tied to a chair, and I would be very interested to see what you fear the most."

"I heard about you when I used to work at the GCPD; you were just another petrified victim of your father's experiments, right?" Edward remarks as his eyes remain locked on Jonathan's for long enough to see that his comments were starting to take affect, "You–you must've been so desperate to have your father's approval to willingly let him use you like that, and even now, it's clear that you're still the same frightened kid in a mask–"

"That's enough!" Jonathan screams at Edward, momentarily losing the sense of control he had as the words crawl under his skin and sink.

For only a brief instance, a commonality of pure fear strikes the two of them for opposing reasons as they stare at each other, and though it's clear to both Edward and Jonathan that there is some kind of underlying correlation shared between them, their motives were far too different right now for that to extend any further.

The moment passes as Edward concentrates back on the loosening rope that had almost worn down completely for one of his hands to break free, but before he can react, Edward suddenly feels his senses tense all at once when the toxic gas rapidly spreads through his entire body.

"You shouldn't have done that...you left me no choice," Jonathan's intimidating tone remains, despite the internal dejection he now felt that was hidden in his voice.

Edward squints as the gas prompts his eyes to water and sting, but as soon as he manages to open them, what he saw standing in front of him was more terrifying than he could've ever imagined.

"Edward! What do you think you're doing?!" The familiar booming voice rings through his ears as Edward's father overshadows him, staring at him with such recognisable disgust and aggravation that Edward had been trying block out of his mind for years.

"You've been lying to me again, haven't you?! What did I tell you about causing trouble?!" Edward could practically feel his father's words puncture his skin, stinging more and more as the agony didn't seem to stop.

"I'm s-sorry–Dad–p-please don't–" Edward murmurs under his breath, so swiftly immersed in this awful reality that he had forgotten it was all happening in his mind.

Jonathan watched on from the side regretfully; hearing Edward referring to his own father as his worst fear brought about an unforeseen feeling of sympathy, maybe even empathy, which assured him that the next time he encountered Edward for something that didn't involve business, he would try to show less aggression.

Without letting himself dwell on it too much, Jonathan leaves Edward alone in the room to face his fears by himself, for he didn't want or need to pry into Edward's personal dread anymore than he already had.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry," Edward apologises again, his voice soft and broken as he struggled to make eye contact with his father without breaking down completely. Edward trembles as he sees his father step closer in the corner of his eye, where tears were steadily falling from.

"You will never be loved and accepted for what you are! You will never be my son!" His father spits out viciously as the sound of quiet sobs begins to fill the room, "And most of all, _he_ will never love you ba-"

"Stop it! P-please–please stop..." Edward fights back with the last bit of strength he has left until his eyes finally meet his father's. He looks up in horror as his father has become more of a monster than he would have ever imagined, so distorted and terrifying that he lets out a distraught scream which echoes throughout the house.

"That doesn't sound good," Jerome chimes in only a few rooms away from where Edward was suffering, still sitting at the dining table next to Oswald who had his now empty glass in hand.

Utterly snapping only seconds after hearing the haunting cry, Oswald quickly smashes his glass on the edge of the table and lunges towards Jerome, shoving a shard deep into his chest before he can retaliate.

Without hesitation, Oswald runs with his dragging, sore limp the best that he can, too focused on getting to Edward to let anything hold him back. Standing in the corner of the house, hiding in plain sight, Jonathan goes towards Jerome as soon as Oswald disappears into the next room, pulling the shard out of Jerome's chest instantly without a second (or more rational) thought.

"Please–p-please stop!"

Oswald finds Edward screaming through tears as he squirms violently in his chair. Oswald is in an initial state of shock as one would expect upon witnessing your own friend in such a tormented state of mind, but he refused to waste any more time worrying, instead attempting to untie the ropes that were restraining Edward.

"Ed, listen to me, everything's going to be fine, just hold on, okay–" Oswald mumbles under his breath sincerely, eventually unknotting the last rope before he unexpectedly feels Edward's arms wrap around him.

In any other scenario, it would've been difficult for Oswald to return the same level of affection after everything that they'd been through together, but nevertheless, his arms shakily began to curl and hold Edward just as softly, comforting the both of them.

"D-don't–please d-don't let him h-hurt me again..." Edward stammers, petrified still, even though he was gradually being pulled back into reality by the safety of Oswald's arms.

"I'm here, Ed, it's going to be okay–I won't let anybody hurt you...ever..." Oswald assures, squeezing Edward just a fraction tighter than before, now not ever wanting to let him go.

"...oh how touching..." Jerome's   
recognisable, yet ill and croaking voice mutters from the doorway as Oswald's head points immediately towards him, "I'm getting a little choked up, really...or maybe that's just the pain in my chest," Jerome chuckles before coughing violently as he held his wound, placing pressure on it to prevent himself from bleeding out. Even when experiencing extreme discomfort, Jerome had proved once again that he could still manage to retain his playful attitude.

"I'm warning you, Jerome, don't you dare take a single step closer!"

"Relax buddy, I'm just admiring from afar...I've gotta say though, this is definitely not how I wanted this day to end, and I swear on my mother's grave that I had no intention of gassing up poor Eddie," Jerome explains, sarcastically holding his hand to his heart as he makes reference to his abusive mother.

"If you think I'm ever going to work with you after this–" Oswald begins to say, his voice becoming progressively louder until Jerome quickly cuts him off, "You never know, the tables just love to turn...maybe one day, I'll be asking the great Riddler to join me on one of my excursions."

Just as Oswald is about to respond to Jerome's witty remarks with threats of his own, Edward begins to shuffle around in Oswald's arms, now grounded enough to comprehend what was happening around him, as well as the fact that he had just been hugging Oswald for the first time in what felt like years.

Standing up immediately at the sight of Edward wanting to himself, Oswald assists in lifting him up tenderly, careful not to be too forceful and cause him any more pain.

"Wow, you are definitely looking more green than usual...you know what?! I think I could use some more green!" Jerome says gleefully before looking down at his aching wound and then behind him, where Scarecrow was waiting in the hall.

"I better go clean myself up–I'd hate to bleed all over your new place. Plus, Jonny's probably missing Tetch already, so we'll be in touch."

But just as Jerome is walking away with a beaming grin, Edward stumbles forward, calling out his name and instantly grabbing his attention. As Oswald worriedly observes Edward's gentle movements towards Jerome, his chilling smile remains; he was eager to hear what had to be said.

"Don't ever threaten Oswald with my life again..." Edward states sharply, despite his internal lack of composure that only showed through his unstoppable shaking hands.

"Noted," Jerome replies, equally as pointed and displaying a quick smirk before tapping Edward's shoulder, "See ya around, Ed; and farewell to you both." With a mocking bow, Jerome leaves with The Scarecrow and Oswald and Ed are left alone to pick up the pieces.

There is an initial, uncomfortable silence that stands between them, neither of them knowing quite what to say as Oswald tidies the place up a little and Edward stays completely still, staring out into nothing. Oswald eventually comes to terms with the fact that easing into this with a relatively simple question would be a good place to start.

"Are–are you okay?"

Edward lets out a mixed sigh, one of relief that he didn't have to be the one to speak first, but additionally one of distress, because he knew that he couldn't hide away from this any longer. Oswald needed to know about his past.

"I mean, my wrists are sore, and Jonathan didn't physically injure me, so that's good..." Edward faces Oswald, grinning and laughing a little under his breath, clearly avoiding the truth as one final resort.

"Ed, you don't have to pretend that nothing happened because I saw how petrified you were," Oswald pauses, fumbling around with the words in his head as his serious expression fades into concern, "Who–who could've hurt you like that?"

They lock eyes only briefly, feeling more connected in this single moment than they have since that day at the pier, maybe more so. It was that day when Edward realised just how much Oswald still cared about him, even after everything they'd done to each other. As if history was repeating itself, Edward was instantly reminded of this, ridding himself of his doubts, knowing that this had to be done now.

Edward takes a seat on the empty and awfully dusty couch positioned beside them both whilst Oswald follows, the pair now sitting only a short distance away from each other as Edward clears his throat to speak.

"You asked me once a very long time ago if I had any family that l was still in touch with, when I was previously asking you questions about your mother...does that sound familiar?" Oswald nods, smiling a little to himself as he remembers the moment.

"How can I forget, that was the same night when you told me she would be proud of how far I'd come, though I'm sure she would've been disappointed in me shortly after that passed," Oswald replies, remembering all too well how his life seamlessly changed in an instance, from falling in love to the betrayal and jealousy that followed.

"Oswald...I lied to you, about, about what I said regarding my family...I told you that they were loving just like your's, and that we drifted apart overtime as I got older, but my mother was present for only a fraction of my life before she left me with my–my f-father..." Edward can barely say those last words out loud without stammering and mumbling.

Oswald, who was clueless as to what he could possibly do to try and comfort Edward who appeared distraught, hesitantly rested a hand on his shoulder. Edward isn't bothered for the gesture, but rather appreciates it, just as he cherished the way that Oswald had held him earlier with such comfort that nothing else seemed to matter.

"I can't–I don't think I can s-say what he did, but he just–he h-hurt me when I messed up, and he made me believe that nobody would ever...love me, because not even my own mother c-could."

Tears begin to stream down Edward's face as he attempts to wipe them away, but before he can comprehend what's happening, he suddenly feels Oswald's hand softly wrap around his arm.

"It's okay...you don't have to do that with me..." Oswald says calmly, reassuring him and letting his hand slip away when Edward nods. Unexpectedly though, Oswald feels his own arm being gently clutched, making it obvious to him that Edward wasn't quite ready to let go yet.

"Oswald, I-I need to tell you something...I'm just–I don't know if I can–I don't think I'm strong enough."

"Edward, you are the strongest person I know, or have ever met quite frankly...and, about what your father said...I, um..." Oswald's voice cuts out as Edward stares at him attentively, trying to read the mixed emotions on his face.

"I know you may not believe me, but what your father said isn't true...I hope you can see that..."

So many memories swiftly come flooding back that it's too much for Edward to take in all at once.

_'I love you, I know you believe that now.'_

_'I don't love you.'_

_'You gave up your revenge for me?'_

_'...I trust you, Ed.'_

Edward's vision blurs as he hears nothing but an awful ringing sound, incapable of hearing Oswald's worried calls until he feels everything suddenly click into place.

_'Love is about sacrifice, it's about putting other's needs before your own.'_

"I think I'm in love with you."

Without hesitation, the words he's been struggling to grasp for so long are finally out. It was strange to Edward how calm he seemed when saying it, considering that internally, he was freaking out.

Oswald was in complete shock. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry or both. He wasn't even sure if Edward was being serious or not, because surely he thought, there was no possibility that Edward would ever love him after everything they'd been through, everything they'd done to each other.

"That–I um–no, that wasn't meant to–that came out wrong maybe, um...I'm sorry."

Ed stuttering? Unusual.

But Ed, unable to speak, exactly like Oswald who had tried so long ago to tell him that he loved him.

This was really happening.

"Ed...I don't know what to say except that I..." Oswald pauses, staring into Edward's worried eyes and knowing that he needed to say it, "I think I–I'm still in love with you too...and I'm not sure if I ever really stopped..."

"R-really?" A wide smile wipes across Edward's face just as another tear slips down his cheek. He couldn't believe that Oswald had really just said that. Edward was never expecting to be so honest with Oswald in the first place, but to hear that Oswald returned those same feelings was something that never even crossed his mind.

"Of course, I'm certain of it," Oswald states proudly, smiling as he watches Edward's face utterly light up.

"That–that's such a relief," Edward says honestly, making the two of them laugh for a moment, "I just, a part of me has always known I think, even when I thought that I was in love with somebody else."

Edward takes a deep breath, holding Oswald's arm a little bit tighter as he prepared himself for what he was about to say next.

"This may not make much sense...but I was in a dark place and you saved me without even knowing it, Oswald. You always have a habit of saving me, don't you..." Edward chuckles to himself, "...it wasn't until you saved me again at the docks when I realised that I was, well...in love with you."

"Love is...messy, to say the least when it comes to us and usually followed by regret...so what I'm trying to ask is whether you believe that we could really start again?"

"I don't think we'll ever be able to start again Oswald, but we are certainly very different people now from when we first met, and I think that we can start fresh, without letting our past actions haunt us for any longer...if that's what you want of course?"

"I would want nothing more," Oswald says, grinning lovingly at Edward as he returns the same affection with the brightest smile and the smallest laugh.

Unexpectedly, Oswald feels Edward's hand slowly fall away from his arm and slip into his hand, sending an unfamiliar chill down his spine.

"Is this okay?" Edward asks, almost whispering as Oswald rolls his eyes in an amused fashion, "Why wouldn't it be?..though don't judge me too harshly if I don't really know what I'm doing."

"I apologise if this kills the mood, but do you think we should, I don't know..." Edward looks down at his hand that was intertwined with Oswald's as he fumbles with his words nervously.

"Your politeness never fails to amaze me, Ed; it's one of the things I love about you most...but yes, I guess maybe we should..."

It takes only a minute, one of stares and anxious shaking until they finally embrace in a soft kiss, holding each other gently and becoming more comfortable as they both let go of the fears they had about this very instant. Edward's hand remains on Oswald's cheek for a few seconds as they pull away in sync, both in complete awe as they smile at each other affectionately.

"I hope you know how much I care about you Oswald."

Oswald's grin widens for only a second, before they rest their heads against each other briefly, mutually pulling away as if their minds were in sync.

Suddenly, a loud bang is heard coming from the front of the mansion, instantaneously ruining the moment and causing both Oswald and Edward to immediately run towards the sound.

There, standing in front of a broken door was Victor Zsasz and Headhunter slurping milkshakes and carrying handguns. Victor takes one last slurp of his drink as he inspects the place, before tossing it aside and letting the glass smash on the ground.

"What in the hell is going on here?!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you liked it, please leave kudos and a comment, I would really appreciate it!
> 
> I really hope I got all of the characterisations right, and my writing style is also still developing so I hope this fic wasn't too overly worded. 
> 
> Anyways, for feathersandriddles, I did see what you tweeted and I just want to say that I completely understand and respect your decision to disable CC. I will still support you from afar and I hope that you are taking care of yourself. <3


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